Deformed Comment

Monday, September 06, 2004

Not Informed

Welcome to Deformed Comment. Please note that I don't claim to be informed. If at any point actual information is presented here, it will be in service of one of two ideals; humor, and the perfect rant. If by chance I make a political point you find appealling, or say something funny, or if aliens land right here on this blog and mutilate your favorite sacred cow, that's lovely, but it's not what I'm here for.

I'm here to rip off the top of your skull and spank your brain. Some people like that. My people like that. If by some chance something you read here makes you think, that's not my problem - you probably have a genetic predisposition for actually using your brain - and I feel sorry for you, because thinking is decidedly contra-survival these days.

I recently read that thinking is caused by a double recessive gene, and that those who think probably also have frog-like faces, bulging eyes, and severe skin prob - never mind, those are the inhabitants of Innsmouth, but my point about thinking stands - don't do it, they might be watching, and if they see it, they'll probably get up in your face, hurl a few insults and yell about how you don't watch enough Fox News or something. Then they'll say bad things about the school system, insult your mother, and imply that you might be happier in another department.

This folks, is my other department. Thanks for dropping by. Sorry about the noise, we're in the basement under the Lady's Room here, and that big pipe in the ceiling leaks a little. We don't do much here to move the machine forward, but the coffee is both hot and fresh, and we have the best donuts in the entire building. So why don't you have a seat and get all cranked up on caffeine and sugar while I type the next post.

I'll be with you in a minute


  • If your brain threw up the phrase, "Donuts, Yum" just now, you're a well conditioned twenty-first century animal.


    By Blogger D., at September 6, 2004 at 11:56 PM  

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    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 21, 2010 at 7:19 AM  

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