Deformed Comment

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Damn Them!

Today my wife and I took the spawn to Target to shop for school clothes. The store was remodelling, and I noticed a sign which read, "Please excuse our progress while we remodel."

"Our progress?" Don't they mean, "Please excuse our great big, fucking mess?"

This is not how English is meant to be used. I'm trying to supervise the education of my children, and they see this, in public, from a major corporation?

Buying a "pre-owned" car was bad enough.

My wife is a teacher, and she speculated that the sign at Target was designed by the same people who changed the name of her district's essay test to the "Literature Based Extended Constructed Response Writing Task." Maybe these useless fucks moonlight for major corporations during the summer or something.

I hate these people. I'd like to find the hapless losers responsible for these grotesque expostulations and squeeze them until the useless, pus filled, Lovecraftian things on top of their necks pop like zits.

Well, actually not, but I really want to know something: How does someone who beats the English language to a pulp, anally rapes it, and turns it into the linguistic equivalent of a fuck-toy get a job writing for a school district, or making signs for a major corporation? And why the hell are they allowed to keep their jobs once they've vomited forth an abomination like "Please excuse our progress while we remodel?"

I don't know either. But that doesn't keep me from hating them.

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